“As Long as it’s Healthy.” Why I Hate This Saying.

We’ve all heard it. A common response to an even more common question (“So what are you hoping for there, champ?”), the soon-to-be mother or soon-to-be father responds with a smile, saying “Oh, it really doesn’t matter to us. As long as it’s healthy.” The soon-to-be mother then places her hands on her belly, looks down, and smiles. It truly does seem harmless, and even well intentioned, but I absolutely despise this saying, and I’ll tell you why.

“As long as it’s healthy” implies the connotation that if this beautiful and perfect and precious baby is born with any issues whatsoever, that it will in some way be a failure; that it will not be the cherished bouncing baby that the parents had always dreamed of. Every single child comes into this world with an individual life, a different personality, and a different future. Sure, many fathers imagine the years spend teaching their son the joys of athletics, and women swoon at the thought of their little princess on prom day.

But what happens if it doesn’t go as planned?

What if your child is born with a birth defect, or a genetic disease of some kind? What if your child’s life is slightly less “normal” than the life of their classmates and friends?

Of course I pray that my child will be born healthy and strong – as every parents would hope – but if God has other plans, there really isn’t a whole lot I can do about that, is there? It will mean only one thing to me, and that is that the life of my child will simply have a different  definition of normal.

It would not make my child less perfect. It would not make my wife and I love our child any less.

Parents, love your children UNCONDITIONALLY, not conditionally based on the circumstances of which they are born. So please, no more of this saying. Value the perfect miracle that your child is for exactly who they are.

 

 

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14 thoughts on ““As Long as it’s Healthy.” Why I Hate This Saying.

  1. mysticmonkey86 says:

    What a great post! You described the situation perfectly. When I was pregnant with both of mine, I always answered with ‘As long as it’s healthy’ And then always had to add a…. ‘but you know, if there was something wrong, I would love it just the same.’
    And can I just say a huge congratulations! Looking forward to more posts !

    • jcw0623 says:

      Thank you so much. I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s nice having a mother’s prospective on it. There will definitely be plenty of posts, and I appreciatey you stopping by and checking it out! I’m looking forward to more comments from you as time passes. This will be quite a journey!

      • jcw0623 says:

        Thank you for the words of encouragement! I don’t think I’ll be posting today, but definitely tomorrow. Keep a look out!

    • jcw0623 says:

      Wow, I’m so truly humbled by this recommendation. I started my blog 4 days ago and to already have this type of recommendation is astounding. Than you, from the bottom of my heart. Becoming a father is the thing in my life that I am most excited and most proud of. I have never cared about anything as much as this.

      Thank you so much, Lee. Any recommendations or publicity are always incredibly welcome. I hope you’ll continue to check out my blog as I go through this unbelievable journey .

  2. intlxpatr says:

    LOL, when I was pregnant, my husband suggested we needed to think about a bigger car (we had a Volkswagon bug) and brought home some brochures. I went hysterical, crying, saying we were taking on this huge responsibility and how could we afford a car?? and bless his heart, he just took me in his arms and said “you poor baby” and I realized how hilarious – and unreasonable – I was being. Sigh. Hormones.

    • jcw0623 says:

      Haha! This is hilarious, and all-too-familiar to what my wife and I are going through. Sometimes humor is the best medicine, but other times, it just makes her more angry. You never know. 😉 Those hormones are certainly special, aren’t they?

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